March 11th, 2004

flesh

[ meetings ]

Today I met a lady named Deborah. She was a friendly enough sort given her position of forcing people into taking jobs that they don't want to do. You might have noticed that I don't trust people who are overly friendly. It was a good start.

We talked for ages about what i'd been doing to search for work and why I wasn't currently employed. Then she asked what type of work I really wanted to do and what type of work I really couldn't do. This was all good fun. Then she asked me to 'pull out the air' some words which describe my persona. My brain had a sudden influx of the following: Cunty, Amorphous, Monkeyish, Transient, Jibbley, Diaphanous, Fluxing, Arsey, Sarcastic, Hateful, Spunky, Cows, Rectum, Spoon, Minnow etc.

Overall the meeting was odd. I've now got a whole bunch of appointments to meet with some very peculiar people over the next few weeks.

This starts on the 23rd with a test for literacy and numeracy. The test will take roughly an hour and fifteen minutes and will begin at 9.30am with no options for breaks. I'm... excited. Although at 9.30am I probably won't be able to spell my name. Which bodes well.

I also have the option of talking to the Dave. The Dave appears to be a one-man counseling service who can help me with a broad range of issues: housing, self esteem, debt, sexual abuse, violence, literacy and numeracy. Dave, in my mind, is the wide spectrum anti-fungal of the counseling world. Meeting him is optional, yet from the wild image my mind has created of him it seems like a must.

Well, enough jabbering, I suppose that i'd better write myself a CV. Is it odd that I have those strange feelings in my tummy. Feelings that this is all wrong. That it doesn't quite fit. That being trapped and forced into something I don't want to do is intrinsically wrong. Feelings that being dead would be better than having to go through this...

Maybe I should consult the Dave.
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