October 4th, 2005



In the email today: "Mother may be staying two weeks longer. She is enjoying exploiting the local girls and having one pound seventy massages and fifty pence manicures, pedicures etc... then she bollocks me for taking photos of where these poor girls live... ie by the railway tracks..."

So, the insanity is set to continue. Fantastic! Truth be told, I'm rather enjoying myself.

Speaking of: I dreamt that I was a prostitute last night. I was peddling my wares on a tropical island, in the middle of an ocean, on a blue planet in some far-distant galaxy. What made it all the more perverse was the fact that I was part human and part machine. I was also uniquely tied into the island's artificial intelligence, granting me full control over its environmental features, but that was just an added bonus caused by a malfunctioning neuroinhibitor. Regardless, all of the elements combined to make for a truly classic dream.

A highlight of which was when I had to replace my penis because one of my tricks had been rather diseased. Unbolting, unfolding and sterile disposal was followed by unwrapping, attaching and, of course, testing the goods. All of which was done in the confines of a tiny, dimly-lit, cruise-ship style bathroom.

I swear that the effort put into the detailing of my dreams is somewhat marvelous. I only wish that there was some way I could share that level of design perfection with others. Although, on reflection, that might not be everyone's cup of tea.

Mmmm, tea... I think the Homer Simpson in me has awoken... Must serve its needs.