February 3rd, 2007


An inch of burning love

To celebrate Kevan's 30th birthday we went to Scruffy's for a meal and some booze. It was all going swimmingly. We'd made our way through the starters and were about half way through the main course. In my case this was The Scruffy Burger. Now, if you read the description in the link you'll notice that the burger includes 'all the trimmings'. What a treat! That's bacon, cheese, onions, mushrooms and an inch of stainless steel wire.

Oh, sorry. Did you get lost there? Yeah, I did say an inch of stainless steel wire:

Now, imagine you're eating your meal and you encounter something like that. At first you think that it might be a spot of gristle or perhaps a bit of bone. But, alas, you're wrong.

No. It turns out that you're eating the bristle from a wire brush used to clean the griddle. Said wire bristle has first penetrated your tooth and has now embedded itself in your tongue. Which, I'm sure you can imagine causes a fair amount of pain.

Naturally, I complained. The assistant manager couldn't apologise enough and my meal was considered as being 'on the house'. Later she wrote down all of the details of the event and admitted full responsibility:

Not only was my main meal knocked off the bill but my starter and my bottle of wine were also removed.

Now, I know it might seem a bit lame but my mouth was really hurting me by this point; my tooth especially. Thus, I decided to take a trip to the casualty department at the Queen's Medical Centre to see what they could advise.

Within minutes I was given a huge pot of painkillers followed by a rather keen tetanus and polio shot; which is this very moment turning my left arm to mush.

Then. Not only did they describe to me what might have happened if I had been unlucky enough to swallow the piece of metal, but they gave me a run down of how quickly an infection might have entered my system via my tongue. Bearing in mind that the aforementioned brush had been used to remove burnt on foodstuff from the griddle for who knows how many months.

Not only that, but it turns out that my tooth has been smashed too. The nurse treating me was especially impressed by the depth of the hole that had been caused. An enthusiasm which vicariously brushed off on me and helped to dull the pain.

So, here I sit. My face hurts, my arm hurts and I'm still a bit on the hungry side.

Tomorrow I guess I'll be taking a trip to the dentist to fix my tooth. Then I suppose that I'd better consider taking some form of action.

All for the sake of a burger.