RJ Brudenell (azoth) wrote,
RJ Brudenell
azoth
  • Mood: rude

And what about sex -

I finally registered at my local medical centre so today I had to pay a visit to see the nurse. She was quite a nice one, as nurses go. It was her first week so she was quite nervous which kinda helped me cope. She did the height and weight thing. I'm 5 ft 9 and a half and I weigh 11 stone 10. Perfect weight for my height! Go me! Then she took my blood pressure... the nasty electronic squeezey thing totally stressed me out and my blood pressure was kinda on the high side! I explained that I had a 'bit of a problem' with doctors and she said that it was all fine... Then came the questions! About my life, smoking, eating and drinking habits. Questions about my job, leisure activities and exercise. My family's medical history was discussed in -great- detail. Then she went -very- red and asked about my marital status and dun-dun-duuun: sex. I had to go into detail about the number of partners and the types of contraception that I use. It was funny as fuck! I cut out quite a few of the dirtier details but generally we had quite a good chat. I felt cheated though because you normally get a bag of condoms and lubes and other such treats but not today... poop. Bloody NHS!

She then asked me about my medications. She talked to me for about 15 minutes about my headaches and the details behind it all. That's 15 minutes more than the damn doctor did last week! He just gave me the drugs and shipped me out. She asked if I'd tried any complimentary therapies, going on to say that I should explore hypnosis or some kind of meditation... Hmmm, who knows. I might even give it a try. Hell, if it doesn't involve pissing in a cup, shedding a pint of blood or having my eyeballs scanned then it's gotta be easier than everything I've tried so far! Curse my broken brain!
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