I was in Debenhams, a rather large department store in Nottingham, with my Mum today. She refused to use the stairs, as she has osteoarthritis and can't be blamed for hating stairs, so we got in the lift. Just as the doors shut an alarm sounded and the lift made a funny noise. Now, when I say alarm, I mean ALARM! So, wondering what the hell was occurring, I pressed the open-door button, but nothing happened. The alarm went from being 'subtle' to being a full on siren, and it was announced that 'all customers should vacate the store'. But the lift didn't move. Then the 'fire' button began to flash on the lift's panel, and it began to descend. It dropped about a foot, made a whirring sound and then creaked back to a halt.
Just as I began to imagine what it would feel like being cooked in a small metal box the lift plummeted to the ground floor at some kinda stupid speed and, just as the doors opened, my Mother screamed "Fuck!" at the top of her lungs as the impact had jarred her back. Thus, she scared the living hell out of all of the people 'making their way calmly out of the store'. It was kinda freaky, unfortunate but extremely funny at the same time.
Hmmm, anyways, we got a free drink in the coffee house to help 'calm our nerves'. Yeah, great compensation, huh? Oh, and no, there was no fire. Just some hair tool that had been left on to burn in the salon... by some hair tool.